Do you dread the day when your child asks about Santa? I do every Christmas! And I knew I was on borrowed time with this.
The time has finally come when my oldest, my 1 and only daughter, asked me if Santa is real
.
And it stopped me dead in my tracks and to be honest, I was speechless. I could feel my body getting warm and I couldn’t bring myself to even look at her.
Finally, I was like, why do you ask that? And she went on to tell me that her choir teacher said “you all know Santa isn’t real”. We chose to talk about it later because all 3 of her younger brothers were well within earshot and I didn’t want to spill the beans to them.
Now, my friend, she is in 6th grade this year and so I knew her finding out was right around the corner but still, it broke my heart. And I am so thankful that she got to experience the full magic of Santa and all that goes with it for as long as she did.
Whew, I am so glad that we had some time in between her asking and my husband and I talking about it so we could figure out what we wanted to say to her.
I would love to know how you would or have handled this topic with your kiddo. Let me know in the comments below.
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When Your Child Asks About Santa
What My Husband and I Decided How to Best Explain Santa
When I asked my parents, they chose not to ever answer me. Not sure why they did that.
When my husband was a kid and asked his parents if Santa was real, he told me this was the response he got: The idea of Santa is real.
He didn’t go into any other details about it but I thought that phrase was amazing.
I also told him that I thought he should have this conversation with her since I just couldn't bear to break our poor girl’s heart. She knows Christmas is my absolute favorite holiday and I do everything I can to make it special for our kids.
He said he could do it, but I could tell it was breaking his heart too. And let me tell you, he is not an emotional guy. I have known him for over 17 years and have never seen him cry.
Even though she and I have a stellar relationship, she is a Daddy's girl, so this hit him hard.
The Santa Talk
Fast forward a week or 2, I am not sure how long. To be honest, I lose track of time sometimes. I think 4 kids and a busy husband will do that to a mom.
My husband is out hunting, my boys are in the backyard playing in the snow, and I am just getting inside from grabbing the mail.
I find my daughter sitting on the couch waiting for me and there is that question again, Is Santa Real?
As I am putting my snow gear away, a million thoughts are running through my head, “oh dang here we go”, “wait, I wasn’t supposed to be the one to give this talk”, and worst of all “am I going to ruin her Christmas?’
I find myself sitting on the couch with her and saying, no he isn’t real but the idea of him is. And let me explain.
Santa brings joy and laughter to so many people around the world, and shouldn’t we all try to do that? Look at what the entire Christmas season does to people. Everyone is a bit nicer, a bit more generous, a bit more everything!
I told her it is okay to still believe in the spirit of Santa even though you know he isn’t a real person. And that every year, I still think how cool it would be to visit the North Pole to see Santa’s workshop, his reindeer, his sleigh, and all that magic that it all holds.
She was so surprised at this. “What, can’t your 37-year-old Mom still have an imagination?” I guess you sure can.
High Emotions
Grab your box of tissues.
I could tell we were both on the edge of tears during this discussion but we made it through. Being as honest as possible with her helped a ton.
I asked how she was feeling about the whole thing, and she came up with disappointed. Disappointed that she thought all the magic of Christmas was gone. But I told her it is just a different kind of magic now.
Now that you are in on the secret, you can help make it as special as you can for your younger brothers.
She instantly agreed.
And I could see the wheels spinning in her head on how she could make that happen. She is so thoughtful and big-hearted like that.
Realizing a Few Other Things
As we sat there chatting away about Santa, she slowly realized that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy weren’t “real” either.
I am glad that she connected those dots on her own since I just couldn't take breaking her heart any more.
But as I told her before, just because they aren’t real doesn’t mean you have to enjoy the holiday any less.
One Important Question!
Since the cat is out of the bag for her, I did have to ask her one important question. Maybe I should call it 1 huge favor.
Can you keep it a secret for your brothers?
Without skipping a beat, she said absolutely. I want them to be able to believe in Santa for as long as possible.
I truly have the sweetest girl in my life. So lucky!
Telling My Husband
I don’t know which was harder to watch – me giving my daughter the answer to her Santa question or seeing the look on my husband’s face when I told him we (my daughter and I) talked about Santa.
He was heartbroken for her, “Oh No! How did she take it?”
But then he said how glad he was that she had so many years to have that Christmas magic that can only be that pure of a child.
Moral of the Story!
I heard this discussed on the radio once. “You never know when it will be the last time. The last time you pick them up, the last time they sit on your lap to snuggle or read a book, or the last Christmas they believe in Santa.”
So, enjoy everything with your little one like it will be the last time because it just might be.
Have a wonderful time celebrating the Christmas season with your kiddos. Go that extra mile for them – even if it is a few small things. They will remember it!
This post was all about when your child asks about Santa.
Let me know in the comments below if you have had this chat with your kiddo. How did it go? What emotions were you feeling about the whole thing?
I look forward to hearing from you and thanks for stopping by.