Hey Mama (or Dad), has the time come for you and your daughter to have a talk about puberty? Here is a complete guide on how to talk to your daughter about puberty.
Your daughter is changing into a woman right before your eyes and it is bittersweet. For me, it means my little girl was not so little anymore, tears!
With that comes changes both physically and emotionally that may be leaving her with so many questions. My daughter, who is 9, and I just had our first big talk about daughter puberty not long ago.
Now that we have had our talk, I can tell you firsthand about everything you should be informing your daughter of when it comes to puberty.
With this guide, you and your daughter will be more prepared to enter puberty and all the physical and emotional changes that go with it.
Hopefully, this guide will make you feel more comfortable about this topic and be ready to address it with your daughter.
Let's get started on this complete guide on how to talk to your daughter about puberty.
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Best Daughter Puberty Talk
When to Talk About Puberty In Girls
You can start talking to your daughter about puberty at any age. Just make what you are telling her age appropriate.
Most girls get their first period from age 10 - 15. Your daughter will start showing signs of development before this and that is a great time to start talking to her about puberty.
My daughter had asked a few basic questions here and there from age 5 - 8. When she was 9 we sat down and had a more in depth conversation.
prepare for this Puberty in Girls Talk
Do some research before you start talking with your daughter.
Refresh yourself on everything puberty, it has been a while since you have gone through the start of it.
While I was researching for our chat, there were many "oh yeah" moments and some "Wait, what? How come I never knew that!" moments too.
Set aside time to talk to her, she will have so many questions.
Our first conversation took about an hour. We have had mini conversations since then as she has come up with questions.
Your daughter will have lots of puberty questions!
Don't make it awkward, even if it is for you!
Deep breaths, you got this! If she sees it is awkward for you, she will think it is not a subject she can talk to you about.
If she feels she cannot talk openly with you about puberty she may have reservations about coming to you with other important topics as she gets older.
I don't know about you but I want my daughter to be comfortable asking me questions on any topic.
If we are being real here, I was pretty nervous to talk to her about her period and all things puberty.
I have never been a share-all with this topic but I am so glad that I pushed my own feelings aside and made it as open of a talk as I could.
Don't leave Dad out.
He doesn't need to be in the room for this big chat but make sure he is involved somehow.
I do want my daughter and husband to be comfortable talking to each other about periods.
What if she has to buy products when they are out and about together? I do NOT want her to be embarrassed about it.
How to Start - What is Puberty
Now that you have done your prep work, it is time to actually talk to your daughter.
The absolute BEST way to start this conversation is by asking your daughter this question:
"What do you already know about puberty and periods?"
Give her a chance right off the bat to be involved and boost her confidence to ask more questions. This helped me a ton to know where to start.
Her answer did not really surprise me. "I have some early birds in my grade (and by this she meant they were physically developing). One girl has her period in my class that I know of."
I thought: Great, not much then. I can give her the correct information. Let's get this period party started.
Menstruation
- Give your daughter a description of the basic woman organs.
Even though I know what women organs look like, it is hard for me to explain. I had a picture pulled up on my phone and ready to show her. I used this picture.
- Describe the basics of what is happening and why she will bleed.
This does not need to turn into a sex talk. You can save that joy for another time. Just focus on what is happening inside her and to her.
- Discuss the age range of when girls start to get a period.
Tell her when you got your period. While researching I saw more than once that your daughter will probably start her period at a similar age that you did. No guarantees though.
- Tell her what symptoms she may experience.
Then go on and tell her the symptoms you experience. Even though you may have strong opinions about this, try to not make it seem terrible.
She will get scared.
- Talk about what activities she will be able to do when she has her period.
For the most part, it should be everything that she can do when she doesn't have it. Just maybe not swimming, unless you are going to jump right on in with tampons.
- Explain that ladies first get their periods at different ages.
It is okay to be the first and is equally okay to be the last of her friends to get it.
- Let her know how many days a period lasts and how often will she get it.
Physical Changes during Puberty for Females
Her body will be changing in so many ways. Some changes that you may want to go over with your daughter include:
Taller
Curves
Breast
Hair Growth
Sweat with smell
Emotional Changes in Puberty
Emotional rollercoaster
Sad or mad for unexplained reasons
New To Her Feminine Products
As your daughter grows, she will probably have to be introduced to some new products.
Bras
As she starts to develop breasts, she will need to start wearing a bra. We purchased these bras for her.
My daughter and I have decided that she can practice at home on the weekends to start feeling comfortable enough to wear them every day.
Deodorant
She will probably start to stink from time to time. Finding a good deodorant for her is key.
We both use this deodorant.
You may have to be the one to remind her to put it on.
The topic of shaving will probably come up sooner or later. This came up for us before the whole "what are tampons for".
Although she has not started yet, I know that it will probably be in the near future. I am taking her lead on this one, I want her to be confident and comfortable.
When she does start shaving, we will probably go with this Gillette Venus Comfort Glide razor and this shaving cream.
Menstruation Products
Pads
Tampons
Talk about the difference in sizes and when to use each
Next, practice. Take her to the bathroom and show her how to put a panty liner on.
You can do this by putting a pair of underwear on over your pants and then putting the panty liner on.
Let her wear it around for a while so she can see what it is like.
I told my daughter that she can wear panty liners on the weekends if it helps her feel more comfortable and confident.
Period Bag for School
After you get done talking about all things feminine products, it is time to take a trip to the store.
Creating a cute period bag that your daughter can keep in her backpack will help her feel ultra prepared for this life-changing time.
Products you should include in a period bag are:
- A couple different sizes of pads, we picked up these pads made just for teens and these panty liners to start, both found on Target
- A quart size storage bag- incase she bleeds in her underwear
- A fresh pair of underwear
When we came home from the store, she was excited to share her new items with Dad.
Her dad and I talked about what we were buying before this outing. He was able to give her incredible support and add to her confidence that it was okay to share this topic with him.
Who Else Can She Talk To
While your daughter may feel comfortable talking with her friends about this topic, all those girls are in the same boat. They may be misinformed or not informed at all.
Her friends will be wrong about a lot of things!
I tell my daughter this often, "your friends will be wrong about a lot of things".
So, I always follow it with, if you want to ask me anything or want clarification about something a friend said...ask away.
Talk about how all women go through this and they all understand.
If she is looking for someone else to trust: aunts, grandmothers, school nurses, and your own close girlfriends are great options.
I have 6 sisters, (yes, you read that right - 6 sisters) so we did a video chat with a few of them that she is closest with and she was able to ask them questions.
Being able to get her familiar with this topic and not be scared about it is key.
With your help, your daughter will slowly be able to figure things out. Congratulate her on taking a new step toward becoming a woman.
A huge congratulations to you mama, or dad, for making it through this new topic with her.
Lots of patients, chocolate and maybe some wine (for you, not her) here and there will help you both through this exciting and sometimes trying time.
This post was all about the best way to talk with your daughter about puberty.
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Leave a comment below about how this conversation went with your daughter. If you have any questions feel free to leave those below as well.
I look forward to hearing from you and thanks for stopping by.