Are you wondering how to get your newborn to sleep without being held? Mama, this post is full of tips and tricks for you to use to get your newborn to fall asleep on its own.
How to get your newborn to sleep without being held is such a common question. I think every parent has it! I know I have researched about this many times and I have answers for you.
As a mom of 4 kiddos and a home daycare provider, I am giving you my top tips to help when your newborn will only sleep when held.
You are going to learn about newborn sleeping must-haves (you will want these!), sleepy cues to watch for, setting up a before sleep routine, and more.
After learning about all of these newborn sleep tips and getting a few must-have newborn sleeping items, your baby is going to be getting some sleep in their bed, which means you can get some sleep too
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Let's jump into how to get newborn to sleep without being held.
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Best Tips:
How To Get Newborn To Sleep Without Being Held
Hey, there pretty lady! Welcome to motherhood! Or to baby number 2, 3, 4 – Good for you!
If you are anything like me, you have tons of questions. Shouldn't your baby have come with a guidebook? I think it would be so much easier.
Since it didn’t, don’t worry, I am here to help.
I know a lot about babies and what may be happening with you now that you are recovering from the 9-month marathon you didn't train for.
If you have other questions let me know in the comments below.
I will get back to you!
Before we get into some tips, let's get a few questions answered.
Why Is It Your Newborn Only Sleeps When Held?
This is a great question to start with.
It is because your baby loves you and loves to snuggle. It was all curled up nice and warm for the last 9 months so this is what your newborn is used to.
Your newborn loves to listen to the sounds of your body, too. Your breathing and heartbeat are so comforting.
Why I Know A Bit About How To Get Newborn To Sleep Without Being Held
Oh mama, I was in your shoes. All 4 of my babies were snugglers and I loved it.
But, as much as I wanted to sit and hold them until my arms felt like they would fall off, I needed to get stuff done or get some sleep myself.
I have also been a daycare mom to 4 other infants and worked with them so they could get to sleep on their own, instead of being held.
Let me tell you, some of those kiddos were a struggle to get to sleep on their own but they got there.
Best Tips For How To Get Newborn To Sleep Without Being Held
1. Know that it will take TIME!
First, you need to realize that your baby won’t learn how to sleep in a bed in 1 day. It is going to take time. And practice, practice, and then practice some more.
You will also need to have a ton of patience. Like waves and waves of it. This will be good practice for you since you will also need it a lot as your newborn grows.
You can do it, though! I believe in you.
2. Be Consistent
Whichever of these tips works out best for you and your newborn, stick with it.
You are teaching your baby how to sleep without you but it won't work if you aren't being consistent about it.
3. Learn your newborn's Sleep Cues
You need to be able to recognize when your newborn is getting tired. This is when you should be getting him ready for a nap or bed.
This list is found on raisingchildren.net.
- Pulling at ears
- Closing fists
- Yawning
- Fluttering eyelids or difficulty focusing
- Jerky arm and leg movements
- Sucking on fingers
When your baby is overtired, bedtime may become a struggle and it can turn into your newborn fighting sleep.
Here are some signs to look for when your newborn is overtired, found on Whattoexpect.com.
- Has a hard time settling down for sleep
- Only takes brief catnaps
- Doesn’t get a lot of sleep at night
- Very cranky or fussy
- Less able to handle frustration or pain
4. Have the right Equipment
Swaddle
Using a swaddle is a must! Use it right from the start.
Your newborn is used to being all snuggled up inside you, so keep him snuggled. Without one, any sudden arm or leg jerks will wake him up.
Besides, babies look so cute wrapped up like a burrito while they sleep.
You can use a swaddle for months and then change over to a sleep sack.
Sound Machine
When your baby is in your tummy, the noise he hears is amplified all the time. Even when he is sleeping.
I found that my babies, and daycare babies, sleep so much better with a sound machine. Use it for naps and at night.
It gives them something to focus on while canceling out everything else.
And you don’t have to tiptoe around your house whenever your baby is sleeping.
Night Light
When your baby is new, he usually cries in the night to tell you something – he is hungry, he needs a diaper change, or sometimes he just needs a snuggle.
Don’t turn the top light on! This will let him know that sleep time is over.
Instead, have a night light that gives off enough light so you can see what you are doing.
Crib
Set up a nursery or bedroom for your baby and have him sleep in there from the start.
Do this for naps and during the night.
This will help him form good sleeping habits.
We did not have enough room for a bassinet so all of our babies went right into a crib, in their room – not ours.
Baby Monitor
Using a baby monitor is a great way to keep an eye on your little nugget without disturbing him.
I love this one since it has a great camera and decent range.
5. Do NOT rock your newborn to sleep
Rocking and/or bouncing your baby to sleep will become a habit for him and guess what…
You will have to do it all the time!
I had to make a huge effort to not be in motion when settling my babies down for rest, and it paid off.
Instead, I dimmed the lights and just sat with them for a few minutes to give them all the love in the world. Then I would lay them down before they fell asleep on me.
It also helped me to not fall asleep with them because I was so tired too!
6. Do NOT feed your baby to sleep
Your newborn will sleep better with a full tummy, but you shouldn’t let them fall asleep while eating.
Instead, let them eat, burp them to wake them up a little, and then settle your baby down in their bed so they can get to sleep without you.
I love little babies when they are milk drunk.
7. You don't have to pick up your newborn right when they cry
If your baby is crying soon after you lay him down, or you know that they haven’t rested as long as they should there are a few things you can do.
Give your baby a couple of minutes to see if he settles down. This is where it is so helpful to have a video baby monitor. You can see your baby is fine without going in.
This will also help teach your baby patience. They will have to wait for things all their life.
My first baby would cry for a few minutes and then end up singing herself back to sleep.
You can go in the room after a couple of minutes but do not pick him up, at least right away. Sometimes they just want to know that you are near.
Instead, try gently rubbing his belly while either singing softly or shhh-ing softly. This may take a couple of minutes.
Don't get discouraged.
8. Have a Nap/Bedtime Routine
Starting a nap/bedtime routine when your newborn is about 2 weeks old is so important.
You are teaching your baby bedtime is near and he is getting ready for it.
A simple bedtime routine may include a bath, feeding, a little snuggling, and then laying your baby down when he is ALMOST asleep.
If he falls asleep while you are holding him, it will not help him make the switch to sleeping in his bed.
9. Newborn Sleeps in a Crib/Bassinet
Always lay your newborn down to sleep in a crib or bassinet in their own bedroom.
Let me say that again: in their own bedroom!!!
We decided to not have any of our babies sleep in our bedroom for any amount of time. I have to say it was one of the best parenting decisions we have done.
I encourage you to do it as well. They will get better sleep and you will get better sleep!
You will not have to break this habit in the future also. This has been a struggle for all of my friends who have shared a room with their babies. For some, it was an all-out nightmare!
Again, this is where that baby monitor will come in handy!
I know you are in the trenches right now but it will get better. These are just the long days of the fast years.
So give that newborn an extra snuggle or 1000! You will make it through.
This post was all about how to get newborn to sleep without being held.
I am a mom just like you! Let me know in the comments below if you have any questions about your kiddos.
I look forward to hearing from you and thanks for stopping by.