Inappropriate Yet Hilarious Things Kids Say

Hey girl, today let's chat about the hilarious things kids say, and yep sometimes they are so inappropriate!

I have 4 kids, a 12-year-old daughter and 3 sons who are 6, 8, and 10.  Boy oh boy, they are getting an education at school these days about new phrases they can try out (most of the time they are inappropriate).

I mean I expected it to happen but wow, it is coming on strong.

Just to be clear, my husband and I try to keep it clean around our kids - like no swearing from us, none!

But these new phrases, you guys, they try them out and use them correctly, and have no clue what in the world they mean.

Then I have some explaining to do and my kids get 1 free pass about saying it but if I hear it again they face the wrath.

I am going to continue to keep adding new hilarious things kids say to this post as new situations happen around here so be sure to check back often.

Please let me know in the comments below if you have any good stories of things your kids have said.  I am always up for a laugh. 

Math Frustrations

We were sitting through another virtual learning day, which with 4 kids in school is always trying, and I am trying to help everyone at once.

I can tell my 8-year-old son is getting frustrated with his math, which he is trying to complete on this computer (which I am so in love with), and just wants to be done.  "Sit back and take a small break while I help someone else."

So, I move on but he doesn't.  All of a sudden he bursts out "This math is a dick!" 

Yep, that is what he said.

My 12-year-old daughter's head snapped down so fast and my 10-year-old son is staring at me like what are you going to do about this one.  Both of them are trying their best not to get the giggles.

Now girl, try and keep a straight face while explaining what a dick is because he hasn't the slightest clue.  I had to go on to tell him that it was inappropriate and bad manners.

Of course, he had no clue where he heard it from.  But let me assure you, it wasn't from me or my husband.

A few weeks later my daughter was home sick and she asked, why did my brother call his math a penis.  I'm not sure I tell her.

"You have to admit it, Mom, it was pretty funny"!

Yes, yes it was!

Annoying Brothers

The other day it was so nice out so I told my kids we were going to take a quick walk around the block.

It started off all well and good until my 10 year old son started to try and get a rise out of my 12 year old daughter.

Everything went downhill from there.

Apparently, the new phrase on the playground that day was "hump me".🤦‍♀️

Why does he need to be shouting it at his sister, I have no idea but believe me he was shouting it, on our walk, where people could hear.

My daughter and I both asked him to stop numerous times but I guess he didn't think we were serious until she hauled off and punched him in the stomach.

Dropped him like a shot, yikes!

Oh yeah, did I mention our 80 year old neighbor was on the walk with us? Bless her heart, she was acting like she hadn't heard a thing.

When we finally got home, I asked my son if he even knew what "hump me" meant.  Nope, not a clue, friend.  Not a clue!

I told him it was inappropriate but that I didn't have time to fully explain it, nor did I want to.  You see, we were running late for a choir concert.

Jock Strap

So, there we were (2 of my sisters, my daughter, and I) having breakfast in a restaurant and a line from the movie Grease comes up.

"If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter".

First of all, I always thought this just meant to go cheer your school team on but apparently, my 2 sisters thought something else.

Let me know in the comments below what your thoughts are on the definition of this line.

They were like, yep, be a nut cup.  My sweet daughter, who is 11 and the oldest, was like "What's a nut cup?" in a pretty loud voice.  I mean, people for sure turned and looked at us.

With a straight face, I had to explain that a nut cup is also called a jock strap, and it protects a boy or man's penis while they are playing contact sports.

Still, with a loud voice, she says, "Well why don't they just call it a penis protector then?"

I glanced over at my sisters who were both watching this in awe that I can keep a straight face so well and amusement that we are even having this conversation in the middle of a restaurant.

When we got home, what do you think was the first question my daughter asked my husband? 

Hey dad, have you ever heard of a penis protector?